I married the boy I grew up with in an orphanage, and the morning after our wedding, a stranger knocked on our door and told me there was something I didn’t know about my husband.

My name is Claire. I’m 28, and I grew up in the system.

By the time I was eight years old, I had lived in more foster homes than I could remember. I learned early that the fastest way to survive was not to hope. Not to attach. Not to expect anyone to stay.People like to say kids are resilient. What they really mean is that kids learn how to pack their things quickly and stop asking why.

By the time I was dropped off at my last group home, I had one rule: don’t get attached.

That rule lasted until Noah.He was nine when I met him—thin, serious in a way kids usually aren’t, with dark hair that always stuck up in the back. He used a wheelchair, which made adults talk louder and slower around him, and made other kids unsure where to look.

They weren’t cruel. They just didn’t know what to do. They’d yell hello from across the room and then sprint off to play tag where he couldn’t follow. Staff members talked about him like he wasn’t there. “Make sure Noah is helped,” they’d say, like he was a checklist item.

One afternoon during free time, I dropped down on the floor beside his chair with my book and said, “If you’re going to guard the window, you have to share the view.”