I always believed I knew my wife. After ten years of marriage, I could predict everything about her — the lavender shampoo, the perfume clinging to our pillows, the smoothness of her legs even in the dead of winter. Then, three weeks ago, she stopped. She stopped showering. Stopped shaving. Stopped changing her clothes. At first I thought it was depression, but she wasn’t distant or sad. She laughed at sitcoms, helped our daughter Kalie with school projects, cooked dinner like always. The only difference was that she no longer tried to be polished. She smelled different. She wore the same oversized sweatshirt for days. And when I asked if she was okay, she simply said, “I’m more myself now than I’ve ever been.”
The world reacted faster than I did. At the grocery store, people stared. At school pickup, whispers followed her. At the gym, conversations paused when she walked by. She didn’t flinch. That unsettled me more than anything. I did something I’m not proud of — I checked her phone. There was nothing suspicious, except for one note dated April 11, the day she stopped showering. It read: “This is what I would look like if no one ever expected anything from me.” The sentence hit me like a confession I hadn’t realized she’d been holding in for years.
The next morning, I brought her coffee in bed. She looked almost amused. “I wondered how long it would take you,” she said. Not to notice — to ask. She told me she’d spent years shaping herself into a version that felt acceptable, desirable, easy for others to admire. The grooming, the scent, the presentation — it had all become performance. She wasn’t spiraling. She was pausing. Testing what it felt like to exist without polishing the edges. When my sister Rena visited and later mocked her in the kitchen, I expected embarrassment. Instead, I felt anger — not at my wife, but at how quickly people withdrew warmth when the packaging changed.
That night, I watched her on the couch, bare-faced and comfortable, reading with her feet tucked under her legs. She was still the woman who makes French toast every Sunday, who cries during documentaries, who sings every ‘90s lyric without missing a beat. The surface had shifted, but the core remained untouched. And I realized something uncomfortable about myself — maybe I hadn’t known her as well as I thought. Maybe I had grown used to the performance too. Loving her now meant understanding that she wasn’t unraveling. She was reclaiming something that had always been hers.
